WHAT DOES NARCISSIST MEAN AND HOW YOU CAN DEAL WITH SUCH PEOPLE ?

WHAT DOES NARCISSIST MEAN AND HOW YOU CAN DEAL WITH SUCH PEOPLE ?

Dealing with narcissistic is very tricky and often very tough because you don't know what is next in their arsenal. You don't know how they will react to a certain thing and there is always unpredictability when you are around them , BUT ! before categorizing people as a narcissist or not, you need to be aware of what narcissism is , because many times people also get confused and whenever something goes against their will, they categorize the other person as narcissist even when in reality they aren't. People who might be having healthy boundaries are also sometimes considered narcissists because they don't allow anyone to ruin the peace of their personal space ( they aren't narcissist ) , So this field is a bit tricky , but that being said it clearly doesn't mean to not deal with a narcissist because if you won't , you'll not be able to live with peace , you'll always going to feel miserable , anxious , angry , self-doubt, depressed and even question your own reality , and these are "few" of many other consequences if you won't deal with a narcissist properly, but before that let's see who is a narcissist :-

→ Who is a narcissist

There are plenty of different definitions of narcissism everywhere, but their essence is the same: a higher sense of self . A narcissist is someone who is too self-centric, has an inflated sense of self , constantly needs attention, and puts others down so that they can be on "top".

They lack empathy towards others and tend to drag every conversation in their favor even when they are wrong. They pre-assume you are stupid and deserve to be taken advantage of because you are naive and inexperienced. Whenever you reach out to them there is always an uncertainty about how they will going to react to that thing, they are not at all open communicators and even if they ever talk, it is about themselves only.

Such people always try to snatch freedom from you and they want to have power/control over you so that in the future you won't remain capable enough to stop their nonsense and take the stand for yourself.  Whenever any argument happens , they often derail the whole main topic and bring up the past incidents to make you look weak and often sculpt the scenarios in such a manner that you start questioning your own reality sometimes , that is called GASLIGHTING. such people often fail in having a long-term good relationship with other peoples. The definition of narcissism is broad but I hope you got the essence.

→  HOW TO DEAL WITH SUCH PEOPLE

1 - LEAVE THEM

If a narcissist constantly ruins your mental peace and makes you feel miserable, the best solution is to LEAVE THEM if possible. It might feel bad initially because you are addicted to the emotional highs that they used to give you, but for your long-term happiness & growth just leave them because if you get into the trap of " I can fix this person " , well ! trust me you'll going to regret it later and then you would need someone ( therapists etc ) to fix you. You can't fix anyone , you can just suggest them to fix themselves but it is in their hands whether they want to correct themselves or not and if they disagree ! Well, it's good to leave them because why you are even connected to them when they don't even respect you and your words enough . Collect yourself and have the self-respect to walk out of such a relationship .

2 - CONFRONT THE ORIGIN OF CHAOS

Most of the time, these narcissists who try to gain control over you are empty from deep inside and they gather guts to put you down just because "you" are not able to take the stand for yourself. So SPEAK UP ! tell them you won't going to tolerate their nonsense and unnecessary drama , and if they want to stay with you they better fix themselves . If you'll gather only this much guts and do not back down in front of them, they will going to try to put you down by raising their voice or bringing past incidents but if you give them an ultimatum, they will either going to fix themselves or will let you go and many times even they don't want to let you go but they still do nonsensible stuff just to gain control over you and to be superior but when you confront them, they realize that you are capable enough to walk out if they do something wrong, THEY WILL GOING TO FIX THEMSELVES and if they don't , WALKOUT !

3 - SET UP BOUNDARIES

If leaving them is not possible because they are your family members , parents or if your basic needs depend on them and they pay your expenses , then firstly , accept the fact that such a relationship won't be deep & fruitful enough and detach yourself at least mentally from them. Set up clear boundaries for yourself and to what extent you'll tolerate things and do not allow anyone to pass the line that you have drawn for yourself .

for example :- if they constantly lie to others and force you too to do such a thing, DO NOT DO THAT ! tell them clearly that this is unacceptable and tell a straight NO instead of rounding up things, and be ready to face the consequences also, but if you are right then do not back down. At the same time, constantly try to be self-dependent so that you can bear up your expenses because this will give you confidence that yes you can live on your own and if someone willingly want to be with you, they should come without any nonsense stuff otherwise you are doing well without them also.

4 - GREY-ROCK TECHNIQUE

Every narcissist needs excessive attention, they always want the spotlight on themselves , And their this habit grows even more when you feed their attention, so DO NOT FEED THEIR ATTENTION . This will going to result in either of the 2 things, they'll lash out at you or will leave you and seek another pray, well obviously , let them lash out and do not listen to them because that's what they want , " your attention ". After all, your attention gives them a sense of self-importance and relevancy , and when you don't pay attention to their nonsense , they will sooner or later realize that you are not the ideal person for them and they'll leave disturbing you. Stay like a rock, " unaffected " .

narcissists are narcissist due to a reason , it can be psychological or environmental impacts, and even because of both at the same time, sometimes they just need someone to guide them to the correct path, and sometimes, they don't even want to listen to anyone , in any case, you should be able to deal with such situations and take the stand for yourself, you don't have to be too hyper or becoming something else because that in itself is stupidity, try to deal with patience every time but be ready too if it requires your strength, avoid fighting unnecessarily because that's what they want , only fight when it is required.

consider this quote :-

" DON'T FIGHT WITH A PIG BECAUSE YOU BOTH WILL GET DIRTY BUT ONLY THE PIG WILL GOING TO LOVE IT "

And if you yourself are a narcissist ( that is possible also ) in that case , focus on developing empathy towards others as well as towards yourself , and focus on " we " instead of only focusing on " I " because that's the only win-win situation for all and only way towards peace . Keep learning & keep growing !